Camino de Invierno
- erickalasmus02
- Feb 20
- 36 min read
Updated: 2 hours ago
I spent the first two weeks of February in Spain on a pilgrimage called the Camino de Santiago. This blog post is a compilation of my daily updates that I sent to friends and family. The emails have been edited for clarity and further detail.
Sunday, February 1st
Marquette to Santiago do Compostela
I’m writing from the Chicago airport en route to Spain so I can participate in the Camino de Santiago!
El Camino de Santiago, or “The Way of Saint James,” is an ancient pilgrimage to the shrine of Saint James in Santiago de Compostela, Spain. People participate for religious, cultural, and personal reasons, my motivations lying a little in all of these areas. I’m doing the Camino de Invierno, a route specifically designed for pilgrims in the winter, as it stays at lower elevations. Over the next two weeks I will be traveling solo by foot from Ponferrada to Santiago de Compostela, around 200 miles.
Besides logistics and packing, I have been preparing by learning about the history of this pilgrimage. As it turns out, this trek used to be so dangerous that medieval pilgrims were advised to make wills before their journey. This holy route has a history of counterfeit, theft, revolts, and violence; knowing this is helping me build resilience towards the unknown by leaving my expectations wide open. Pilgrims of the Camino also have a long history of taking a vow of poverty, reducing personal belongings to better focus on the spiritual journey. I will be walking with this in mind, being intentional about how much I take and how much I give.
On the pilgrimage I’m excited to re-read Planet Walker by John Francis Jr., I read this book when I was working at the Porcupine Mountains in 2021 and it is what first got me in to long distance walking. I’m also reading Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh, someone else I consider a hero, and Meditations on the Trail by Christopher Ives, a book I’ve already tried to finish twice. During this trek I will not be on any social media, this email update will be my main source of communication.
The trip has gone well so far, the woman who checked my bag did the Camino several years ago and gave me some tips, and one of the TSA agents was my friend’s dad! I’ll check in, send pictures, share any insights. I hope you find some inspiration through these emails, wherever you are.
Monday, February 2nd
Santiago de Compostela to Ponferrada
I am writing to you safe-and-sound from a hostel in Ponferrada, the start of the Camino de Invierno. The past day has been a doozy.
Fortunately, for the most part my flights went really well; going through Spanish customs at midnight eastern time was a fever dream but nothing was delayed, I even met a really nice Spanish man who had a friend who did the Camino.
The trouble started when, after over 17 hours of plane travel, I found out my checked backpack had been lost by the airline!
Of course the first thing I did was report the lost baggage, but what was I to do then? I allowed myself a couple minutes to be in shock and worry, then I made the decision to understand this as part of God's plan. I realized that everything I absolutely needed was in my carry on (minus clothes and toiletries) so I decided to board the bus to Ponferrada without the bag! On my way I saw another young woman who looked like a pilgrim so I approached her and we ended up taking the bus together! Later we got dinner together in Ponferrada.
Yes, I could let the airport mix up weigh me down, but in reality everything else has been going well. I’m going to use my lost baggage as an opportunity to live the next two weeks in the Spirit of the Camino. I said I wanted to take a vow of poverty and fate has it that I will! A traditional part of the Santiago pilgrimage accepting kindness from unexpected places, known as Camino Magic. As I will learn, opening your heart to receiving and opening up your heart to giving are inextricable.
After the four-hour bus ride from Santiago de Compostela to Ponferrada, I checked in to a hostel or “albergue” that adheres to the traditional hospitality associated with the Camino. When I told the hosts about my luggage, they found a nice thermal top and poncho for me to take as well as a sleeping bag to sleep on tonight. One of them even took me shopping because she knew all the best stores! If I hadn’t lost my luggage, I wouldn’t gave had the opportunity to experience such kindness.
Not to mention the incredible natural views and breathtaking historic landmarks! This city is adapted to the modern world but it is a fundamentally medieval; in fact, Ponferrada was formed in the 11th century to support pilgrims on the Camino! I can't wait to see what lies ahead.
I am really excited to get some sleep tonight since it will have been almost two days since I slept in a bed. I feel blessed to start walking with a lightened pack and a lighter heart.
Tuesday, February 3rd
Day 1 of pilgrimage
Ponferrada to Puente de Domingo Florez
Today was a great day! It started a little rough, predictably I couldn’t sleep due to jet lag, but I woke up excited to walk. I started in the dark, following city streets and paths through vineyards, and slowly it got lighter as I made my way through villages. There was a sudden huge uphill where I was hiccuping the whole way up, but it was worth it because at the top there was a CASTLE!!! It’s crazy to think that something so high up could ever be practical! The first time I travelled to Europe in 2024 I wanted to see a castle so bad but didn't get to, so this moment was years in the making. The view took my breath away enough to cure my hiccups and boost my morale in a moment when I was exhausted and snow was falling.
Then I started a long descent…and then went up again to Las Médulas. Las Médulas is a UNESCO world heritage site because the Romans mined gold there using hydraulic power in the 1st century AD. As an American, this experience linking land and history is different from what I am used to. Of course, human history in North America existed far before the time of the Romans, but evidence of pre-1492 civilization has largely been erased physically and educationally by a colonial mindset that was predicated on the pristine myth. The pristine myth is the harmful misconception that prior to European arrival, the Americas were sparsely populated and uncivilized, untouched. Colonizers relied on this false narrative to justify the erasure of thriving indigenous American civilizations that depended on complex trade networks and social structures that actually had an influence on the United States Constitution. All of this to say, ancient history in North America exists, but it isn't often honored or acknowledged. Experiencing an acknowledgment of ancient history in Spain brought up questions about my relationship to the ancient history of my home in the United States.
By this point I was pretty tired and hungry so I stopped at a restaurant and ordered duck confit and French fries. I managed to order the food in Spanish, my high school Spanish teacher would be so proud. Originally I was going to stay in Las Médulas but last night’s host recommended a hostel one town further, so I set off again and traversed through a mountain valley to Puente de Domingo Flórez.
For this albergue I was supposed to call the host but I can’t do that because I’m not about to pay all that money for the eSIM. Instead, I emailed the guy and hoped it would work out, and it did because I ran into him walking into town! The albergue is really nice, I got to wash my clothes in the sink, and the shower even has warm water, unlike last night!
My phone said I walked 27 miles today 😵 and 168 flights, 10 miles more than originally planned. I’m surprised at how okay I feel because 27 miles is the most I’ve ever walked in day. I guess all of the long walks and training are paying off, and human bodies are built to walk long distances.
Before I left the hostel in Ponferrada, the host taught me an important lesson: The Camino Provides. The Camino teaches you to connect with people, to ask for help, to trust in community. I’m surprised at how quickly my Spanish is coming back. I’ll start to talk with someone in Spanish and they get the impression that I’m fluent, until I hit them with a confused expression and say “Yo hablo un poquito español.” Even still, without a shared language I get to connect with people in ways I couldn't in my everyday life.
This trail has already taught me so many things, I can’t wait to see how it changes me. In Ponferrada I saw a wall mural that said “sin cambios, sin mariposas” or “no changes, no butterflies.” The hostel host, who has done eleven Caminos, told me that I must not resist that change, I must lean into it to grow. That’s something we can all take away from this.
Wednesday, February 4th
Day 2 of pilgrimage
Puente de Domingo Florez to Vilamartin de Valdeorras
Where yesterday I focused on surrender as I walked, today I focused on stability.
Today I thought about yogash chitta vritti nirodhaha, or the calming of the fluctuations of the mind, the primary goal of yoga according to the Patanjali Yoga Sutras. I also recalled a Rumi poem that I only remember my impression of, the main point being that it is so treacherous to go throughout your day allowing your mind to be governed by the highs and lows of fickle emotions.
I slept better last night and slept in an extra hour to make up for the past few days. My day started walking through town, then I hit a long two track running parallel to the Rio Sil that went for miles. Early on I sensed that my stomach had the potential for a GI emergency, so I took advantage of the break in the rain and the solitude to avoid a crisis.
I went through several quaint towns, stopped for a lovely rest at one of them, saw some cute cats. I passed through churches that undoubtably used to be places of rest on this holy pilgrimage, now only their remnants remain for modern pilgrims to marvel at. On the other side of the river were mostly industrial infrastructure, factories and trains to support the functioning of modern life. This close proximity of the ancient and the modern was difficult to comprehend at times. All day I walked in a valley, the occasional high wind blowing me back into the present moment.
Even though it is winter, the Camino de Invierno is still less popular than the Camino Francés, which takes a route through the snowy mountains. In Ponferrada I met a young woman from South Korea who is doing the Frances route on her own and she says that the snow has been brutal. I’m glad that I chose the route that I did, but it is less “user friendly” than the more popular routes. I am yet to see another pilgrim on this route, and because it’s winter a lot of the restaurants and hostels are closed. This does mean I get whole hostels to myself though, no noisy roommates. It also leaves a lot of time for meditation.
The two pilgrims I've met don't know a lick of Spanish, so it is possible to get by without it but I got myself out of trouble three times today for being able to pick out some key facts from locals’ instructions. I’m actually really enjoying communicating in Spanish!
After the first couple hours, the route became much more industrial, I was walking along highways and through bigger towns where people were more aloof. I’d finally gotten a hold of following the semi frequent signs that guide pilgrims along the Camino, but today I got turned around several times, at one point the signs led me to an impassable construction zone. I stopped around noon for dony pistacho y cafe con leche. I wanted to order something more substantial but it was a miracle that a) a restaurant was open and b) I could communicate with them. I am learning that travel calls for constant compromise and adaptation.
The route became windier, rainier, and busier as the day wore on. I could have given in to frustration, but I was able to recognize the impermanence of these inconveniences. My mat is half a world away, but I’m still practicing yoga in its truest form, the calming of the fluctuations of the mind. My legs and feet may have been hurting, my glutes sore, rain pounding my face, cars racing by, but internally I was serene.
After 22 miles I made it to tonight’s hostel and cherished the warm shower and wood stove. On my walk to the supermarket the rain finally stopped and there was a rainbow, an arcoíris. For dinner I had microwave macaroni bolognese, canned Galician mussels (they are known for their seafood), and flan. I opened up my book Planet Walker and read:
Sometimes the changes come from within
Seeing with no eyes
Hearing with no ears
We begin
Thursday, February 5th
Day 3 of pilgrimage
Vilamartin de Valdeorras to Quiroga
I started out this morning alone in a hostel in Vilamartín de Valdeorras. The heating system there didn’t work very well but luckily some friends gave me an electric hand warmer that I cuddled with all night. After walking along a highway for a short while, I made my way to a more rural area with the two tracks and cobblestone streets I’ve come to know and love.
It was not long before I ran into the first other pilgrim I’ve seen on this route. Her name is Hanna, she is a Ukrainian who has lived in Italy since 2007. She was fluent in Spanish and shaky in English, I am vice versa, so we were able to struggle through a conversation. I’m very jealous because she saw a wild boar, or “pork de forest” as she called it, with two piglets!!! We went through an area affected by wildfire last summer that left some families without homes. I am reminded that I am not the only one in need, that by traveling through these towns I am supporting their local economies.
We talk about how our families think we are loco for doing this walk by ourselves. Hanna said that her mother is especially worried because her brother is fighting in Ukraine. Today’s route was hard because we had a long way to go in between towns with services, but someone set up a station for pilgrims with fruit and café con leche! We walked together for several hours, but soon I was craving solitude again.
When we encountered a long uphill I powered ahead, savoring the burn I've felt many times during training. I found myself alone once again, climbing higher and higher into the mountains, enjoying the rare sunshine and the wind in my hair. After some steep downhills, my knees had started to bother me.
On day 2 of the walk I talked about the ability to keep the mind calm when faced with adversity. It’s great when that happens, but it’s not always the case. I’ve had a couple things happen in the year and a half since college graduation that have resulted in a lot of frustration that lingers. It is when I’m tired and pain that these frustrations come forward. The anger can help me power through when I need it, but the effect on my morale is not worth it. When I was younger I thought that with time, you will forget painful memories. I now see that it’s not that simple, and one of my hopes for this adventure is to walk through these difficult mental formations.
I can use logic to reason my way through life events just fine, but that’s not enough. I must accept that even in the best case scenario I will never be like how I was before. I must metamorphose into someone wiser, stronger. I must hope that these events force me out of my chrysalis so I can spread my wings.
I saw four rainbows today!! That must be a good sign. I also saw another castle, but this one wasn’t as cool. I loved the trails around the castle, they felt very medieval and I imagined myself a knight on the way to do something important, marching through tunnels of trees and ivy.
I settled down for the night in Quiroga. I drank an apple flavored white tea at a bar while I worked on a crossword, got some groceries, and cobbled together a dinner. I got a single room and comfy bed and had the best sleep since the start of the trip.
Logistics update: The airport has found my luggage, and I successfully filed a claim to get some compensation money. I tried to send the luggage to a hostel for me to pick up but the airport was having a hard time understanding my instructions. I didn’t want to risk losing my luggage again so I told them I will pick it up at the end of my trip.
In Planet Walker John Francis Jr. talks about Peace Pilgrim, a woman who dedicated her life to not using motor vehicles and promoting peace (I can’t wait to read her book). She would walk with very few possessions and was the first woman to walk the full length of the Appalachian Trail in 1952. She dedicated her life to service and was supported by people who believed in her mission. Inspired by her, I feel confident with my decision to move forward with what I have.
Friday, February 6th
Day 4 of pilgrimage
Quiroga to A Pobra de Brollon
According to Yogic philosophy, the time before sunrise is the most auspicious time for spiritual practice. I feel this to be true in my heart, it is the reason I love to wake up early. Because I slept well last night, I got up early and walked the first two hours in the dark. Walking in the dark can be nerve wracking, but this morning it was exhilarating.
I had to stop to pet a horse of course, then I headed up a mountain. The cool breeze and scenery reminded me of my time at Yellowstone. I was in a liminal space between awake and asleep, existence and absence, death and life. Hardly any cars passed through the rural mountain road.
The sun was rising as I reached the top of the mountain, I was grateful for the good weather because wind and rain at that elevation is scary. As the sun continued to rise, I began a gradual descension. While stopped for a snack break I heard some yipping canines I assume are wolves run through the forest nearby. Suddenly I felt the temperature drop several degrees and it started to sprinkle. I packed up and kept going.
Soon my body started to feel the effects of the past few days and I genuinely was in a liminal space between awake and asleep. I was drowsy and my hips hurt and I still had a long way to go. I decided to cut the day short by finishing one town earlier than I had planned. In order to complete the Camino before my flight back I calculated I have to hike an average of 14 miles per day; over the first three days, I've walked 73 miles. I’m a whole day ahead of schedule. In two days I’m climbing the highest mountain in Galicia, and I could use a break.
Another important aspect of the Camino is to take your time, to enjoy yourself. My default setting is to push myself as hard as possible. In modern Western culture this may be considered a noble quality, but that’s not all that life is about. On this Camino the real challenge is to stop focusing so much on the end goal, to enjoy the process.
So I took a “short” day of 17 miles; it always ends up being longer than I calculate. When I got to a Pobra de Brollon I had coffee and lunch at a café and stocked up on food before heading to tonight’s albergue. It turns out, Hanna is staying here tonight too! It rained hard this afternoon, I was grateful to be warm and dry inside.
Saturday, February 7th
Day 5 of pilgrimage
A Pobra de Brollon to San Paio de Diomondi
I was pleasantly surprised at how nicely today went!
I woke up not really feeling great, but I got up nevertheless and spent the first two dark hours of my walk meandering through the country. On Thursday I wrote about how I’m coping with frustration, this morning I realized how this walk can be empowering. About six months after I moved to Amasa, I had to leave one of the only gyms in the area because a man there was being so obsessive towards me that other gym members were concerned, and the owner said very disrespectful things about women and would not take my concerns seriously. I also struggled with Amasa residents not controlling their dogs that would run out at me on runs. Because of these events I was afraid to leave the house, very uncharacteristic for me. That’s actually how I got in to yoga, it was a physical activity that I could do in the safety of my apartment and it helped me find peace when I really needed it. After all of this I was questioning whether I was still courageous, I felt so beaten down. This morning, walking alone in the dark in a foreign country, I knew I am still courageous. That is not the only doubt that has been proven wrong.
So far this trip showed me how kind and normal strangers can be. This morning I got an amazing breakfast in Monforte de Lemos and so many people told me Buen Camino! and the owner even gave me a discount. On past solo adventures I’ve avoided interactions with strangers and worked to be as self reliant as possible. This was for safety purposes, but I was missing out on positive interactions that far outweigh the good ones.
In Amasa there were only a small number of roads I felt comfortable running on because so dogs would be running loose and chase me. I became so paranoid and would get triggered every time one ran at me, the event ruined my day and I would often end up crying before the run was over. I was heart broken because I love dogs, but my relationship with them was damaged. On the Camino I’ve had a lot of dogs bark at me and some loose, and I’ve gotten to work on repairing this relationship. To the dogs I say Hola! Como estas? And the reply is always arf! or woof! Of course, it helps that these Spanish dogs aren’t chasing me, baring their teeth at me, and are typically not aggressive breeds.
Moving forward, I need to work on a new kind of strength: being able to stick up for myself and to present the truth even if it makes me disagreeable. I find inspiration in this quote from American philosopher Henry Bugbee:
"We may find ourselves acting under difficulty; our resources may be taxed to the limit; we may be faced with the most uncertain future; and the failure of enterprises on which we have set our hearts may stare us in the face; yet under genuine obligation, we may stand and stand firm, we may act decisively."
My body felt a lot better today; on Thursday there were two steep downhills that wrecked my knees. I used my hips more to get me down the hills, but that wrecked my hips for Friday. I walked today relatively pain free. Today was another long one, 27 miles, but not much elevation. I walked the last two hours in the cold rain; I practiced focusing on my breath when it got tough. By the end I was thinking the human body is not meant to walk this far but it was worth it because tonight I’m staying in a 12th century Roman church!!!
For €10!! The host gave me a tour of the inside of the church but I didn’t get any pictures. I got to touch an original 12th century bath that Roman babies were baptized in! We also had a conversation about European history and how the host came to own the church in Spanglish.
I’m happy to say that Hanna and I have formed a partnership. We walk on our own, as I’m faster, but we communicate throughout the day and stay at the same albergue in the evening. I find Hanna very inspiring because she’s not particularly athletic yet she does the same long distances I do, she just takes longer. When I show concern she says I will be there, just give me time. She has been called to walk and that’s all that matters. The Camino isn't exclusive, it is there for whoever seeks it.
Sunday, February 8th
Day 6 of pilgrimage
San Paio de Diomondi to Rodeiro
I’m writing safe-and-sound (and tired) from Rodeiro, Spain. Today is the last of the hard days (theoretically) and it feels good.
This morning I had a genuine medieval pilgrim experience. I woke up in a 12th century Roman church with no WiFi or heat, ate a breakfast of bread, cheese and sausage, and ventured into the morning darkness. The first kilometer or so was straight down through a forest into a valley, the lowest point of the Camino.
I crossed over an old bridge then quickly ascended on old cobblestone streets.
Soon, I was faced with a raging river. I took off my shoes and socks and carefully stepped across the stepping stones covered in several inches of rushing water. When I made it to the other side, I stepped on the spiky husk of a tree nut.
When I found dry ground I cleaned my feet of debris and continued onward.
Soon I encountered a hostile beast. I answered his riddle and he let me pass peacefully.
I continued ascending into Chantada where a family let me cut ahead of them at checkout in a supermarket. People really have been so kind :)
Today I had to climb Alto de Faro, the tallest point on this Camino route by far. As I climbed I passed cow pasture after cow pasture. The path eventually got steeper, but fortunately I love uphills so this was the best part of the day. There was no cool view at the top but it felt good to practice the light and fast tempo I learned in high school Nordic skiing.
My body did not like the walk down the mountain, but it was actually nice weather today, no rain, so I took my time and enjoyed the sunshine. I also had my first cry of the trip, it felt really good. Overall today felt like a real mental battle. The crying had nothing to do with any discomfort or uncertainty of the present moment, all related to memories from years ago. It felt like a really safe opportunity to do some healing. Eventually I stopped crying and my legs hurt so I rested on the steps of an old church. A farmer came over and we had a nice little conversation. He told me Spanish men are muy guapo and I should get a Spanish novio😂 I told him I already have a novio guapo in the United States!
Three more miles and I made it to my final destination for the day! Today was 26 miles, from here on the distances won’t be so crazy, but I am surprised at how well my body has taken these miles. I stopped at a cafe and got spaghetti carbonara, a real treat.
Also, I wanted to show a pic of my every day outfit, I’m really embracing the pilgrim look.
Sorry, nothing too profound today, sometimes I’m just tired.
Monday, February 9th
Day 7 of pilgrimage
Rodeiro to Lalín
Last night I woke up a couple times because my toes had a prickly pokey feeling, like they had fallen asleep, but it wouldn’t go away. I dreamt that my toes had gotten frostbite and skin had to be removed.
This dream not only reflected my current state but was a premonition for the day ahead.
It rained all day today. Early on, one of the Camino directional signs was covered up to indicate a detour, but I ignored it because the detour continued on the highway, the true Camino dipped off into the woods. I cried for awhile, and with those tears I realized that one of the reasons that the past year has felt so excruciating is because my brain is associating it with painful memories from my late teenage years. Hurtful names I was called over half a decade ago, words I rarely told anyone because I didn’t want them brought back into the world, are assaulting my consciousness once again. I think about how Audre Lorde felt: “Your silence will not protect you.” I don’t like that people I banished from my life still have this power over me, but I’m glad I finally recognizing and defining this suffering.
Soon I discovered why there was a detour; this is what the trail looked like:
I tried turning around and taking another trail but it was just as flooded, and I ripped up my poncho walking through thorns in the process. I took off my shoes and made the crossing. The cold water felt good on my sore feet.
I made two more river crossings, one was guarded by an old sage who gifted me some secret wisdom as I crossed.
Even though today was shorter in miles, it was tough because it was so wet and there was nowhere to stop and rest. A café, or even a covered porch, makes a world of a difference in this kind of weather, but there was nothing like that today. Breaks were spent crouched on the side of the road hiding under my tattered poncho, nibbling on a granola bar.
I already wasn’t in a great mood, then when I stepped aside to let a tractor pass the farmer's herding dog snuck behind me and started barking which scared the bejesus out of me.
When I finally made it to Lalín, I stopped in a café the barista gave me a concerned glance. I must have looked rough.
At last when I made it to tonight’s hotel (that had already been booked), I had to ring a bell to be let in. I rang the bell, said a few words, then the call cut off. I waited for the door to open and nothing happened. I tried knocking and ringing more but nobody came. I ended up standing outside in the rain for some 20 minutes after hiking 18 miles, trying to get let in. It turns out, the entire hotel is run remotely from a call center. When I finally do get in, the remote receptionist gives me a room that hasn’t been cleaned.
The whole experience was disheartening, certainly not in the spirit of the Camino. I know that everyone has experiences like these, but it makes me wonder how “convenient” technology removes a degree of humanity, makes it possible for receptionists to sit there while a paying customer stands out in the rain, for military groups to kill people like they are statistics. Psychopathy is nature and nurture, and I wonder if remote technology can alter someone’s DNA through epigenetics so they display more psychopathic tendencies.
I feel like this has been the concern with technology for ages. Every time there is a technological advancement, there is some degree of negative reaction. We've seen that with Artificial Intelligence, but we've also seen it with vaccines, television, radio, and cars. As someone who has done a lot of walking on roads, it’s easy to see how I get reduced to a blip as people whiz by in their two ton vehicles living their own lives. I don’t think the blame of depersonalization lies on any one person, but we all benefit from recognizing the significance of everything, everyone.
I was pretty tired and bummed out from the day, Hanna and I got dinner and groceries and I tried what Spaniards call a tortilla, it is more of an omelette and it’s really yummy. I spent the night eating a pint of ice cream and watching YouTube.
Tuesday, February 10th
Day 8 of pilgrimage
Lalín to Bandeira
My dreams have slowly been coming back as my sleep gets better. Last night I dreamt about the people who called me the hurtful names, they were provoking me and I got mad. I’m glad the gears are turning. After a shorter day yesterday my body felt a lot better.
It was raining hard when I left this morning. By noon, I’d soaked through 3 out of my 4 pairs of socks. Luckily today, there were lots of places to stop and rest. Many cafés and bars on the Camino route are geared towards pilgrims and the hospitality is so appreciated especially in this weather.
As I walked, I thought about warm memories that acted as a salve for my psyche.
I thought about a weekend wellness retreat I went on during my senior year of college. At Moosilauke Ravine Lodge I shared a bunk room with a first year engineering student named Chengpei. Chengpei had just moved to the states from China, and on top of the culture shock he was facing immense pressure from his parents, a common experience for Dartmouth students. I felt an unexpected kinship with him. On the hike up Moosilauke we talked about the Tao Te Ching. Whereas I learned about the book from my grandma and had positive views on Taoism, he was jaded because of how the Chinese government has misappropriated the philosophy. Later I realized how much he was struggling mentally and I was really glad he was there. I convinced him to join Dartmouth’s boxing and conditioning club and he came when he had the time.
I thought about weekends in college when I would go on hikes by myself up mountains in New Hampshire and Vermont. If I didn’t have time for that, I would go to Still North bookstore and café, order a lavender iced latte, and do some reading and journaling. College was stressful and I never felt like I was doing enough, but I reserved my Saturday mornings for joy when I could.
I thought about camping at Hog Island State Park with Rory last fall, watching a scary movie in the tent as the rain fell after a day of grouse hunting and enjoying time together.
I thought about sitting in a Bible Study circle out in the woods last fall for my friend Angela’s birthday, car camping in a wilderness area just south of Yellowstone, cooking fancy meals and tent camping while working in Minneapolis, hiking in Ottawa National Forest in late November…
I love the way I move through the world. I experience deep satisfaction when I think about who I’ve become, who I’m becoming. Today, that is what gave me strength.
I also got strength from freshly squeezed zumo de naranja and churros con chocolate in Silleda. The yummy stops along the way made today a lot better.
Today I walked a meager 17 miles to an albergue for pilgrims in Bandeira. I really like it, the room is warm and the complex is a covered half outside/half inside situation. I washed my clothes with a washboard, something I’ve always wanted to try. I love tedious activities like that, I see them as opportunities to relax, especially when I have the time. Today is a good day.
That night I ordered dinner from a bar and recorded thoughts that had been blooming:
Today I finished reading Planet Walker for the second time, and I feel inspired to share how it will change and inform my life. John Francis Jr. is a black man, son of an immigrant, who felt compelled to stop using motorized transportation after witnessing an oil spill while living in California. He also took a vow silence, at first to avoid needless confrontation but it turned into an integral part of his spiritual journey. Throughout his pilgrimage he received a bachelors degree, masters degree, and PhD all while not talking and afterwards worked for the Coast Guard on oil spill legislation. His book demonstrates the power of individual choice in our modern world.
First, I’m proposing a more ethical way of living moving forward, informed by John Francis Jr. and Thich Nhat Hanh’s branch of Buddhism (Plum Village).
Plum Village Buddhists emphasizing taking at least a moment before eating to bow down to all the beings that contributed to your plate of food. The animals, the plants, all involved with the harvesting, transportation, and processing of your food. This prayer is not out of guilt, but out of gratitude, awe at what was accomplished for you to be fed.
Why not apply this same concept to using motorized vehicles? Before we drive, while we’re at the gas station, why don’t we take a moment to be grateful for the finite resources we use to get from place to place quickly? Can’t we acknowledge that the same natural processes that convert petroleum into mechanical motion will also have an environmental impact when combustion occurs? Don’t the fossils, the oil rig workers, the miners, the assembly line workers at the automobile plant, the forests, island dwellers, and the coral reefs all deserve a prayer?
I believe that these acts of gratitude can be the answer to so many of America’s problems. If people take the time to be grateful before they pick up the fork, they are less likely to overeat. If we think about the implications of starting our car engine, maybe we will consider walking, or waiting. And it’s important that we make these choices out of love, not fear.
Second, I would like to talk about a lesson that the Camino is teaching me, and how Planet Walker helps.
For quite a few days now Hanna and I have been traveling together. I’m finding that even though we walk separately throughout the day, it’s hard for me to spend the evening around her, it wears at my patience.
Hanna, like all of us, is a product of modern life. She puts much of her focus on the material: which app is the best for Camino navigation, where to get the best Camino memorabilia, which restaurant to go to. And she talks about those things a lot. I am not walking the Camino for those reasons, and I do not understand why something that can be resolved in a couple words must be elaborated on over and over again, especially when the alternative is peace and quiet. This is a common experience for me, a difference in priorities that is potentially incompatible, one of the reasons I do so much travel by myself. It doesn’t help that we have a language barrier.
Of course I must communicate my needs with her, modern technology allows for that, but there’s a tiny voice in my head that’s saying All of this chatter is ruining my trip! This voice is whiny, upset that my experience isn’t exactly what I envisioned. Then, I ask myself, what is this teaching me?
John Francis Jr. too became frustrated with the external and internal chatter that resulted from all this needless talking. I’m inspired to ask, how can I move forward in a way where I don’t waste energy on words that aren’t helpful? How do I direct conversations to somewhere more meaningful?
Because some of my lifestyle choices people sometimes assume that I have a “Holier than thou” mentality, I assure you that I am being careful not to judge Hanna or make any assumptions about her, as I do with everyone. However, I do hold strong convictions for myself and sometimes the actions of others impede in my ability to act in accordance with my beliefs.
Wednesday, February 11th
Day 9 of pilgrimage
Bandeira to Santiago de Compostela
Yesterday morning I woke up to my clothes hanging on the clothesline still wet, so I went to the laundromat. While waiting, I took time to be grateful for the present moment, not a new practice but one I’m reading about again in Peace Is Every Step. I paid attention to my breath, how my body feels (heavy), and found myself deeply satisfied with the liminal space I occupied. I wasn’t safe in a hostel, nor was I walking to my next destination yet. This would have caused anxiety in past versions of me, but I’ve grown.
Nevertheless, I didn’t wait until my clothes were completely dry because they were going to get wet again anyways. I set off at a stroll, leaving later than usual and unbothered by that.
I felt very inspired on my walk. In the morning, I pondered over the reading I did at the laundromat. Thich Nhat Hanh said that we and our emotions are inseparable, meaning that when we are angry, that anger is part of us, if we get rid of it we are losing a part of ourselves. He talked about acknowledging anger and transforming it. These are not new concepts to me; I’ve studied my anger regularly in consistent years. I went through a stage where I tried to use logic to tell myself that there is no use in being angry (spoiler alert: that doesn’t work). I remember sitting in a meditation group talking about sitting with anger and one of the group members thought I was talking about petty workplace anger. No, my anger was justified. I was angry at unjust systems that hurt us all.
Then, I started reading Audre Lorde for a class. She was an incredible writer fueled by anger. She said that if you aren’t angry about the injustices of the world, you are not paying attention. She too talked about the power in transforming your anger into something productive. Thats what I’m working on now, but it’s not easy. One of the reasons I quit my job and decided to change my life is because every day, I was given more petty, easily avoidable reasons to be angry. These frustrations were taking up all my headspace and blocking my powerful, transformative anger. Last Christmas I read House of Earth by Woody Guthrie, a book about a poor farmer couple who dreamed of land ownership during the dust bowl era of American History. Woody Guthrie’s art expanded beyond his music and was a protest against the mistreatment of marginalized Americans. He had mastered this art of transforming this anger, and I realized that I was never going to get to that place with where I was in life.
A couple days before my trip I read a Rumi poem about how it is necessary for you to go off traveling searching for answers in order to fully realize that the answers were always with you. This felt very relevant for my trip, and I also considering learning to transform my anger its own adventure.
Today was the windiest and rainiest of them all. After a shorter two previous days I was feeling physically good, I just wanted to make sure I didn’t get hypothermic. The wind was strong enough to undo the cheap buttons on my shredded poncho so it would blow in my face and soon I was soaked on the outside and inside. Originally I was going to stay about 10 km outside of Santiago de Compostela, but I decided to go all the way. The wind did not deter me.
Hanna and I had been traveling together for quite a few nights at this point, and I was starting to really miss solitude. We were doing the Camino for different reasons, and she wasn’t giving me the space that I needed. I would be trying to read, write, and reflect on the day but she would not stop talking to me about things that I don’t find particularly important, telling me I’m using the wrong navigation app, telling me where I need to get this, do that… I did my best to communicate what I needed given the cultural and language barrier, what I really needed was some peace and quiet.
I’d just finished reading Planet Walker, and more than ever I understood why John Francis Jr. chose to stay silent. It seems like in our culture we are always expected to give people our attention when they talk to us, but there is not much emphasis on considering whether it’s worth asking for someone’s attention. People toss around their uninformed opinions about others assuming that they care. This might sound harsh, but I really do get sick of trying to explain my very intentional decisions to people who are only interested in judging lifestyles different from their own. How much energy could I save if I intentionally abstained from that type of communication?
I do think that my identity as a young woman plays a role in this; so many people have no reservations about giving me their free opinion on my body and my life; I hope that I am open to honest constructive criticism but that is not what I’m referring to. I get sick of people cutting me off so I don’t get to finish my thought; they might not say it explicitly, but they are much more interested in their response to my unfinished thought than my thought in its fullest form. I really don’t see the point in engaging with people of this mindset, silence seems like a more empowered alternative as it takes back some agency.
As I walked I thought about how special it is to find people who fully accept you for who you are. They don’t get caught up in identity, in expectation; finding these people feels like coming home. I’m not sure if this applies to everyone, but I feel like I’m constantly running into people who expect me to be a certain way because of my appearance, and it almost never matches how I actually am. Social media makes this worse, people reduce themselves to an archetype online to get more attention, and this mindset is seeping into the real world. I used to go to the woods to be my true self: luckily I’ve found some really great friends who recognize the being in front of them and don't fill in the blanks with their own narrative.
Unsurprisingly, many of these friends themselves have trouble being seen for who they are as folks who fall outside of the rigid norms Western society has set up. For many the term "queer" might bring to mind a similarly rigid expectation, but I offer up bell hook's truer, more liberating alternative:
"Queer" not as being about who you're having sex with; but "queer" as being about the self that is at odds with everything around it and that has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live."
10 km to go it’s raining sideways and I stop at a restaurant for some strength. The woman behind the counter feels my fingers and is concerned about how cold they are. She had to get a mop out because I was drenched in water and dripping everywhere. I had a hearty lunch and left, initially walking in the exact opposite direction then reorienting myself.
Today was another long one, but the spirit of the Camino felt stronger and stronger as I headed towards the city center. Finally the rain eased up as I walked down cobblestone streets and dodged the occasional car.
When I first got to Spain, I was hyper-aware of being in a foreign country and I couldn’t get comfortable because of how far away I was. Over the past ten days I’ve found peace from within and in the community of pilgrims. Walking to the St. James Cathedral I was excited but careful to savor the special experience of nearing a finish line.
When I got close I was surprised at how big the cathedral was! There were pigeons everywhere and they were not very keen on flying, it would be easy to catch one. I’m walking to the main square and I look behind me to see a monk on his way to do monk things. I walk through a tunnel where a man plays the bagpipes, the music echoing against the arched ceiling. I exit the tunnel into the main square and my breath is taken away. It is incredible that this magnificent structure was created so long ago and has been maintained for centuries. It's magnitude and maintenance alone proves the cultural and religious significance of this place.
Time stops as I walk around the square, slowly changing my perspective at the magnificent structure. After basking in the beautify of the cathedral and of my walk, I ask a guy where the pilgrim office is so I can register as a pilgrim and get my completion certificate. I hear someone call my name—it was the girl I shared a room with on my first night in Ponferrada! We had taken different routes but finished at exactly the same time!
Next I checked into my hotel room. I was going to go to the pilgrim mass that the cathedral held but I found it very difficult to get out of bed. I can easily spend an entire day walking, but I feel much less comfortable navigating a city. In the end, I laid in bed until 9p.m. then got up and went to a nice Galician restaurant down the street to celebrate.
Thursday, February 12th - Friday, February 13th
Camino de Santiago de Compostela Airport (SCQ)
In the morning I wasn’t sure what to do so I did more walking. I’d given myself eleven days to complete the Camino and I’d finished in nine so I had extra time. Through rumors I learned that the airport shuttle bus workers were on strike. Because I didn't want to pay for a taxi and because I had nothing better to do, I walked. I walked to the airport via the French route in the opposite direction, encountering far more pilgrims than I saw on the Winter route. I’d thrown away my tattered poncho and was a little concerned about the rain, but I reminded myself that there is a lot of discomfort I can put up with for a short time period.
This will not surprise anyone, but airports are not very pedestrian-friendly. I felt quite anxious and out of place as I walked on the shoulder of the bridge to the airport, but I’m pretty used to doing weird stuff. After all, I wasn't doing anything wrong! I certainly felt like I was channeling my inner John Francis Jr., who many times encountered infrastructure inaccessible or even hostile to pedestrians and somehow managed to keep walking and in some instances influence legislation, all in silence. After some wandering around I got reunited with my luggage I made my way to the albergue I will stay at the next two nights. In the evening a group of pilgrims showed up, the next day being their last on the Camino. Most of them had been walking for a month, one of them since October, so they were nearing the end of a very long journey.
They had all started individually but travelled as a group. One of them was a chef and cooked a meal that smelled spectacular. The next morning, before they left in their final journey, they gave me a soft boiled egg. Even after completion, the Camino provides.
On Friday I had nothing planned, so I in the morning I went on a recon mission to find a better route to the airport. I took a backroad that paralleled the airport and found a short road with some abandoned cars that dramatically shortened the distance I had to share with airport vehicles.
With the rest of my time I relaxed, reflected, and recovered. Throughout the trip I took time to practice restorative yoga to help my body best recover. I did a lot of hip and side-body stretching to relieve the IT band tension that I had been struggling with. Post-pilgrimage my body was feeling surprisingly fresh, so my practice became more physically challenging. I found that I was able to do a pose called baby grasshopper, or Bala Parsva Bhuja Dandasana, that I wasn't able to do prior to the trip!
That night an older gentleman showed up to the hostel. He was from Sweden and this was his tenth Camino! He told me about his life, how he ran a successful optometry business until he was fifty years old, when he decided that he valued travel and experiences more than possessions and changed his lifestyle to reflect that. He also enlightened me on how America looks from the outside, how separate, yet influential it is to countries in the eastern hemisphere.
I've been fortunate to take some very enlightening history classes in college and read books that have made me intellectually aware of the world at large, but to exist in an international context is an experience that was completely different from academic knowledge. I met very few Americans on the Camino, in fact one South Korean was surprised to find out that I was American! It makes sense, America is far from Spain, but so is South Korea and I met lots of South Koreans on the trip! I am interested in knowing more the cultural context behind why certain countries are disproportionately represented on the Camino.
Saturday, February 14th
Santiago de Compostela to Marquette
The flight back was hectic as expected but I made it home after a long day. On the ten hour flight from Madrid to Chicago, I challenged myself to be entertained with analog entertainment. I'd nearly finished my reading, so I downloaded John Francis Jr.'s master's thesis to read along with Peace Pilgrim's Steps Towards Inner Peace. When I finished those, I pulled out the four crosswords I'd been working on, which were nearing completion but I had gotten stumped on, and stared at them until I found the answers. I did some writing and drawing, tried to really appreciate and draw out the airplane meals, and spent a lot of time being really bored. In many ways I maxed out my frustration on the trip home and put mindfulness into practice.
Takeaways
If you got to the end of this and are thinking
Man, I would love to walk the Santiago, but...
I would like to give you some context for how I prepared for the trip so you know how capable you really are.
My overseas travel is very limited. In 2024, Dartmouth paid for my plain ticket to England so I could model in a Poland Syndrome Accessibility Fashion Show. While the experience was incredible, it was also finals week so I didn't get to do much exploring. I found customs and the whole travel process to be pretty disorienting and I needed be patient and open to asking questions.
I did the Camino when I did because I quit my job and had a great opportunity to do something with some extra time. However, the entire trip took two weeks and I met pilgrims who fit the pilgrimage into their vacation time. In order to be an official pilgrim you only need to walk 100km, which many people can easily accomplish in a week.
While the plane ticket for the trip was expensive, I spent relatively little money while in Spain. Hostels and food are much cheaper than in the United States, especially if you are willing to share sleeping quarters and cook your own food.
For many, coordinating such a trip is nerve-wracking. The beauty of the Camino is that pilgrims are expected and supported, there are people around who will answer your questions if you couldn't find sufficient information online. The most important tool you'll need is resilience and adaptability (because unexpected things will happen no matter how much you plan), skills that can be developed.
For some of you, reading about the experience may be enough, and that it totally fine too. Thank you for sticking with me, I hope you learned something from this experience.